The Greatest Treasure in Hell - Chapter 18 - lucky1025 (2024)

Chapter Text

It was only a couple of days after the creation of Hell’s new ocean –which Lucifer had officially deemed the Red Sea, ironically enough– that the meeting of the Overlords was set to take place, with the meeting spot being a reception room on an upper floor of the Hazbin Hotel itself. However, not just anyone from the hotel would be allowed, as attendance was limited. Among their number, Alastor would be present along with Luffy, Jinbei, Trafalgar, and the Snake Princess, with of course King Lucifer and Queen Lilith as well as Charlie and her paramour being in charge of discussions. Alastor had deigned to postpone attempting the ritual to summon the Straw Hats’ ships until after the meeting. Assuming that he was indeed successful, the ritual would consume likely all of his demonic power, and it would take some time to regenerate the energy. He would prefer not to attend such a gathering in a relatively weakened state.

The circ*mstances did introduce the question as to who, exactly, counted as an Overlord these days now that Soul Contracts had fallen out of favor. The well-established fellows of Zestial, Carmilla, along with Rosie and Alastor himself had been invited, as well as the Overlords typically invited to such meetings. The Vees however were now rather on the fence as to how they were regarded. They still had some amount of their powerbase left, but along with the significant chunk that had been taken out of it, the public humiliation of their defeat considerably damaged their reputations to the point where some sinners were referring to them as has-been Overlords, much to his own amusem*nt. When Alastor questioned the King on the matter just moments before the meeting was to take place, though, Lucifer confirmed that he had indeed invited them still…

“They still have a good amount of sinners working under them as normal workers, so I sent them a notice yeah… And also I was kinda curious to see if they’d even show up, considering Luffy and Hanco*ck are here.”

“Well let us hope your curiosity does not lead to a more unproductive meeting due to someone being defenestrated from the premises…”

Lucifer just rolled his eyes at the forewarning, crossing his arms over his chest. “Hey now, if anyone is throwing anyone out a window, your captain is definitely gonna be the one doing the throwing! Don’t act like that wouldn’t be something you’d find ‘entertaining’.”

“I never said it wouldn’t be. I’m merely being conscientious as to dear Charlie’s expectations for how a meeting of this nature should go,” Alastor agreed easily with that point before moving onto another, “I suppose it goes without saying that the Empress is being considered an Overlord now? I will admit, I do not think there has ever been a case of a sinner so swiftly conquering a portion of the Ring and its inhabitants for themselves upon their death. That her colony is already in the midst of being built and the female sinners she cannibalized from the Vee’s workforce are fully dedicated in their loyalty to her is a remarkable accomplishment.” Now if only she would cease her annoying behavior whenever Luffy was within eyesight of her person, she might actually be bearable to be around…

“It made enough sense to me to make that call, yeah,” Lucifer agreed, and that would have been sufficient enough. However, he then moved on to explain offhand, “Also since I was inviting all those other former pirates that have less of a powerbase than her, it wouldn’t make sense not to invite her, you know?”

Alastor stared at the King for a few seconds. Before he could comment, however, Trafalgar approached their conversation, evidently having been listening in. He didn’t look pleased, a fact compounded by the fact that he’d had to abandon his post of glaring over Luffy’s head at the same Pirate Empress they’d been discussing. Jinbei stayed where he was beside Luffy, but glanced over at them, clearly listening as well.

“You what? Who did you invite? And why?!”

Lucifer glanced at the snow leopard with a blank sort of confusion. “Huh? Well there were a couple of up ‘n’ comers who aren’t at Overlord status but were making a stir, so I thought since we had the Pirate King coming and all we might as well include them. It’d just be like inviting more of his followers right?”

“NO?!” the doctor shouted in frustration, clearly confused as to how the King had even come to that conclusion.

Seeing the need for it, Alastor took to the task of being the proverbial bridge between worlds, folding his hands behind his back while explaining as plainly as he could to Lucifer, “You have surely heard by now that the title of Pirate King was granted to Luffy due to his finding the previous Pirate King’s treasure, yes?”

“Yeaaah?”

“Perhaps the connection that you failed to make, then, is that said Pirate King is not an actual position of kingship like you yourself hold. He is not King of the Pirates in the sense of being the ruler of pirates. He is King of the Pirates in that he defeated all other pirates who were in contest for the title and treasure against him.”

“Exactly!” Trafalgar was quick to back up the statement, expanding in a much more annoyed manner, “Unless they’re a pirate captain who was allied with Straw Hat-ya like Hanco*ck and me, they’re likely someone who was either an outright enemy to our faction or who he beat in a fight! They won’t fall in line with him just cause he’s Pirate King! It’s bad enough you invited the Vees when it’s almost guaranteed they’re working with our most dangerous enemy. They’ll just tell Blackbeard whatever our plans are and that bastard will probably swoop in after all the danger’s gone to cause trouble like he always does. But adding other pirates on top of that is just throwing more wildcards in!”

“ …Oooooh. I get it now. Okay…” the King said in a very slow realization, before gaining a sheepish smile. “Uh… my bad? There’s only like four of them if that makes it any better.”

Trafalgar just tsked, raising a hand to cover part of his face in a low sigh. Alastor empathized with the feeling even while he refrained from reacting, remaining silent while the doctor continued, “Four of them…? f*ck. I just know one of them has gotta be– ”

“Mingo?! What’re you doing here?!” the three of them looked over at Luffy’s angry yell, with Trafalgar tensing in place.

The doors to the reception room were thrown open in a grand manner to reveal a flamboyant looking flamingo sinner, strutting in with the same level of confidence on his long spindly bird legs and wings spread out wide.

He was absurdly eye-catching, with a bright pink feathered coat atop of a body already covered in pink feathers and being as tall as Jinbei and Boa, the comparison easy to make as he stepped up towards the fishman, Empress, and Luffy. He could even be mistaken for a Goetia demon, seeing as he had both the avian form and the size to match them. Husk, who had evidently guided the man up to the room, immediately back-walked himself out of the mess upon seeing the pirates’ reactions, closing the doors with him as he went.

While the flamingo’s eyes were covered by a pair of sunglasses, the grin on his large beak was clearly set into an antagonistic sneer of a grin as he curved his thin long neck downward to properly glare at the much shorter monkey. He jeered, “So we meet again, Monkey D. Luffy… And Jinbei! Long time no see! It hasn’t been since Marineford, right? For a fishman so caught up on the rights of your species, you sure don’t mind putting yourself under the heel of a human! Fufufu!”

The newly arrived sinner straightened his neck to match Jinbei’s height once more, allowing the helmsman to level a proper, hardened stare at him. It was evident he was also displeased with the other’s appearance. “Doflamingo… You would do well not to disparage the loyalty I have for my captain. He is a far greater man than many, yourself included.”

Despite the call out, the now named Doflamingo had already moved on to meet the glare of the other former Warlord among the group. He jeered in feigned curiosity, “Yeah yeah– But Hanco*ck! What a surprise! You never even bothered showin’ up whenever the marines called a meeting, and yet you’re here for this one?”

“A man as wretched as yourself as no place addressing my person,” Boa shut the small talk down with her usual attitude, resting one hand on her hip as she tilted her chin up slightly to better look down on the bird, “I am here to support Luffy’s position amongst these so-called lords and for no other reason.”

“Figures. Only Straw Hat could find a way to win over the infamous stone-hearted Snake Princess of the Amazons.” Moving on from the woman, the flamingo’s neck curved to the side such that his head peaked around Jinbei’s frame, which was blocking his view from where Trafalgar was still standing beside Alastor and Lucifer. The grin on his beak sharpened into something visibly on edge. “Law… What’s with the long face? You’re the one who came back from the dead to cut my HEAD off along with Straw Hat’s men! At least look a bit happier at seeing the fruits of your effort. FUFUFUFU– ”

“Don’t talk to Law! He doesn’t wanna talk to you!” Luffy’s demand was compounded by the way he shot a hand up to grasp the flamingo’s neck, pulling Doflamingo’s head back down level to his serious scowl. The bird’s grin instantly downturned into a full sneer.

Doflamingo pulled his head back in time with Luffy releasing his neck. The more he moved around, the more unnatural the movement of his neck came off. The way it was able to twist and curve about was more reminiscent of string keeping his head attached to his body than a vital stretch of flesh and vertebrae. “Tch! Touchy~ Don’t ya have any confidence in Law fightin’ his own battles? Now that I think about it, you really shouldn’t, seeing that he had to get you to fight me for him! Fufufu! And then Blackbeard went and proved that he really couldn’t take the heat of the New World when you aren’t around to save him– ”

The flamingo’s neck twisted on itself in a full half circle, leaning his head down upside down while Luffy’s crack of a punch went flying over head to crash into the wall behind him. Doflamingo had apparently predicted that statement would lead to a swift retribution, which he thus avoided. He didn’t bother righting his head before rambling on, “Now there’s no need to start a fight, Straw Hat! I came with the intention to attend this meeting properly. I know the song and dance. So play along too, yeah? Or do ya really want Princess Morningstar’s hotel caught in the crossfire like that?”

“Luffy… Just leave it.” Trafalgar approached the boy from behind to grab hold of the retracted arm, keeping him from throwing another punch. Luffy was still scowling as he glanced back at the snow leopard. He was well and truly pissed from the flamingo’s comment.

However, the simmering glare Trafalgar sent the man himself betrayed his intention to merely hold off on retribution, rather than give it up entirely. Doflamingo just renewed his manic grin at the sight of it.

The commotion drew Alastor and Lucifer forward as well. It seemed the former Warlord was at least somewhat committed to his bit of playing along, since he merely greeted the King’s unimpressed stare with a bow of his extended neck, saying with exaggerated joy, “King Lucifer! The Devil himself! Fufu– I’d say thanks for the invite, but I don’t really think ya want me to. I gotta say though, this Hell of yours is really the place to be! Two of my crew –who these guys ALSO killed by the way– died a good while before me, so they were able to set things up nicely for when I kicked the bucket. Crime is so much easier down here than it was in life! No marines, Celestials, or government dogs that need appeasing! I guy like me is really meant for this place!”

For once, Lucifer’s careless shrug and unimpressed stare provided quite a bit of comedy rather than acting as a personal annoyance towards Alastor. Evidently the fact that Luffy disliked this man so much was enough for Lucifer to also find him distasteful. “Yeaaah don’t really care. Who’re you again?”

One edge of the grinning beak twitched in an evidently unpleased look, though Doflamingo just passed over the slight to respond, “Donquixote Doflamingo, the ‘Heavenly Demon’– at your service, assuming you’re willing to pay the right price for it.” It was then that the flamingo finally turned Alastor’s way. He examined the Radio Demon with a thorough glance over before continuing, “And you… are the Radio Demon, yeah? The newest addition to Straw Hat’s little crew from what I’ve heard. The folks around here really talk ya up, say you’re a big bad evil cannibal and the like.”

Alastor just returned the obvious judging evaluation with a grin of his own, resting his hands atop the mic-head of his cane in front of him as he casually replied, “So you’ve heard of me? Yes, I have developed quite the reputation around these parts I’d say.”

“Yeah well, not sure if realize this, but Straw Hat has a reputation of his own. Not just for becoming the Pirate King, but also being a friendly guy. To the point that it’s crazy, even! He’d tear down an entire monarchy just cause some rando who gave him food cried to him about it, ya know that?” the beaked grin stretched just a tad sharper as he conveyed, “Which means that, no matter what the sinners down here might think, you have to be a bleeding-heart just like the rest of his crew if he wanted you. So hope you’ve already said goodbye to that rep of yours as some scary guy, since no one else who met Straw Hat in life is gonna think otherwise! Fufufu~ ”

Alastor had to restrain his eye from twitching in agitation. Instead, he allowed his radio feedback to peak harshly in a brief instance as he narrowed his gaze and sharpened his own grin. His response was a falsely pleasant drawl, “Well– I’d much rather be known for my position amongst the captain’s crew than be known as the has-been Warlord who he soundly defeated. Who doesn’t want to be on the winning team? In comparison, shouldn’t you be more worried about overstepping yourself? He put you in your place for a reason, I’m assuming. Perhaps you should have been a peaco*ck instead of a flamingo with how much you enjoy prancing around in false confidence. The absurd name of Doflamingo notwithstanding, that is. Ahahaha!”

Doflamingo’s jeering grin twitched back into a sneer at the insult. Before he could snap back, however, the doors behind him creaked open in a much more reserved manner this time around. There was a deep sigh, “I’d been thinking this would be similar to a Seven Warlords meeting, but not this literally… Guess it was too much to hope for that I’d never have to deal with you people again.”

Alastor glanced back towards the door to see not one, but three newcomers walking in, filing in one after the other.

The first one through was the man who’d spoken, with the rather intriguing form of a crocodile made entirely of sand. Standing taller than Alastor but shorter than the flamingo, likely around Angel Dust’s height, his large, sandy tail dragged behind him on the floor, looking as though it should be getting the stuff everywhere but staying loosely contained, following and floating about his person in a trail. Alastor couldn’t help but blink at the sight of the actual hook hand at the end of one of the crocodile’s arms, shining gold and very much the picture of a stereotypical pirate that somehow managed to pair well with the otherwise mafioso vibe of his attire. The man raised his flesh –sand?– hand to his fanged snout, holding his cigar between two fingers to let out a smoky sigh. A straight line of a scar stretched across the entirety of his face over and around his mouth and nose.

Doflamingo immediately turned towards him with a wide grin, promptly ignoring Alastor to raise both wings high and declare, “Crocodile~ I knew I’d run into ya eventually! What’s with that attitude? And Mihawk! You know, I was surprised when I first saw you guys kept the Cross Guild going. You must like each other more than you’re lettin’ on! FUFUFUFU!”

It’d been a while since Alastor had been taken aback by the commonality of animal-based names in the pirate’s world, but really, this many of them this on the nose was too much. Was Crocodile a first name or a last name? They literally only added a single extra syllable for both Doflamingo and Mihawk. And now that he was thinking about it, Boa was pretty on target for a snake-themed woman as well.

The aforementioned Mihawk was, of course, a hawk of around Alastor’s height. Though more of a hybrid, harpy like form compared to either Crocodile or Doflamingo who both more closely resembled their namesakes, with black feathered wings for arms and digitigrade legs that ended in taloned claws. The next to walk in after Crocodile, his most notable features were his hawk-like, spiraling gold eyes that seemed to pierce through whatever he focused his gaze on, set underneath the wide brim of a feathered hat. His long coat flared dramatically behind him, wings kept to his side as he moved to step not beside where Crocodile stood in front of Doflamingo, but in front of Luffy and Jinbei.

“Hardly. I merely take up requests from their lot to stave off boredom,” after addressing the flamingo’s attempted jeer, Mihawk quickly moved on to look down at Luffy instead. The captain regarded the man with a neutral, blank sort of expression. “The First Son of the Sea. Straw Hat… Roronoa has already accepted my request for a rematch, just to keep you awares.”

“That’s fine. Zoro can do what he wants. Hi Zoro!” Luffy sped past the issue to instead look past the hawk and wave at where the three-headed man stood at the door to the room, having been the one to bring them up. The brute just sounded a grunt back before leaving without a word.

Jinbei meanwhile also responded more cordially than he had with Doflamingo or the careful stare he’d watched Crocodile with, “Hello to you as well, Hawk Eyes. It’s good to see that your previous bout with Zoro hasn’t left you with ill-intentions towards us.”

Mihawk turned his face slightly to the side before stating without inflection, “Naturally. It was a satisfying match, and he earned my title properly. There was nothing about the circ*mstances to leave me discontented.”

“Hey hey HEY! Aren’t you guys ignoring me a bit too much?! I was the one who was called an Emperor in life, remember?! And a flashy one at that! Buggy the Clown is not a man to be looked over! Even if I’m shorter now!”

The third member of the group jumped up into the air in their tantrum, insect wings flashing out to flutter in a short hover before he landed directly to the side of Mihawk also in front of Luffy. This person was, in the most straightforward terms possible, a clown co*ckroach. With a mostly human face but a round, big red nose and marks like face paint, he was of miniature stature likely close to Niffty’s size. He somehow managed to beat out the clown snake First Man as being the most hilariously awful demon form Alastor has yet to witness.

The hawk promptly took a large sidestep away from the bug, not even sparing him a glance even when two out of four of the man’s arms outright detatched from his torso to stick their pointing fingers in Mihawk’s face. “And what do you mean there was nothing to be ‘discontented’ about?! YOU DIED!!! And even worse, you left the rest of us to deal with the marines and World Government on our own when sh*t hit the fan! Why do you think we all died?! You were our strongest fighter and you got yourself taken out in a stupid duel right before we needed you the most, you sword for brains! Who trains their own successor to murder them like that?! Don’t drag us into your death wish– GAH!”

Mihawk’s wing slapped both of pest’s arms hard enough to send them flying across the room to smack into a window. They limped back into a float towards their owner, reattaching while his eye blew out wide at the sight of a blade pointed straight at his face. He was quick to devolve into pleading for his life, “P-Please don’t kill me! I’m sorry! I-I didn’t mean it! You know it’s not my fault they made me the Emperor between the three of us! I’m just a lying hack and we all know it– ”

“Silence.”

Alastor had to take a moment to examine the scene. The hawk’s wing had not only lengthened and sharpened into something resembling a large sword, but the blade of it now shined white with the divine glow of angelic steel.

It should be impossible for a sinner –a regular, non-divine being sinner unlike Luffy that is– to be reincarnated with such a feature. And yet somehow, that seemed like the most likely explanation as to this man’s ability. Mihawk’s spiraling pupils might as well be blades themselves with how the bug squirmed underneath the intensity of their gaze.

“In a duel for the right to be called the world’s greatest swordsman, it is only natural that the defeated would suffer death. Roronoa Zoro lived up to his potential and surpassed me, and thus, I was defeated. It is nothing more, and nothing less. The fact that this duel precluded the war to come after is no concern of mine. To go to war suggests the possibility of either of us becoming wounded, and such a match deserved to be fought in full health. To have won due to lasting wounds suffered outside our battle would have only marred the pride of the victor. Roronoa understood this, and thus sought me out at the time that he had.”

“ …That just makes your priorities even more awful! The both of you had it completely backwards– GAH! S-S-S-Sorry! Really! Please don’t kill me!”

“Fufufufu~ ”

Mihawk pulled back his bladed wing with a sigh, ignoring Doflamingo’s chuckling and leaving the bug to press a hand against the pinprick of blood that had been drawn from his nose. Crocodile also sighed in a puff smoke from his cigar. Based on his side-eye he glare at Mihawk, he agreed with Buggy’s complaint that the swordsman having left them high and dry, but evidently was aware that mentioning it to the hawk in question was a pointless endeavor. If this is any representation of how this group functioned in life, it was no wonder they met such an ill-fated end…

“Mihawk…” Jinbei stared at the man’s bladed wing, eyes slightly widened in his surprise, “Your sword, Yoru… It’s part of your body now? I didn’t realize such a thing could occur! And it’s a divine weapon, just like Zoro’s Wado Ichimonji.”

With a hum of affirmation, Mihawk’s wing flashed back into black feathers as he explained, “Indeed. Yoru has become one with me. Or perhaps it’d be more fitting to say that I have become the sword. And to your other point, it seems that a blade which a swordsman has turned into a Black Blade due to the intense concentration of their Armament will reincarnate into heavenly steel along with its swordsman. As Roronoa turned the Wado Ichimonji into a Black Blade, it resulted in the same outcome… In a way, it makes one ponder if the will of humanity, if strong enough, can approach even the power of the divine. It is a curious thing to contemplate.”

As he spoke, the hawk stepped forward to stand in front of Lucifer and Alastor by proxy. The crocodile took that as his cue to face the King as well, and even the downtrodden bug made his way over. Mihawk was the first to address the former angel, “I don’t usually care for formalities, but I suppose it would be prudent this time, seeing that we are here upon your invitation. ‘Hawk Eyes’ Dracule Mihawk, once known as the strongest swordsman in the world prior to Roronoa Zoro. Should you come across a strong opponent you don’t wish to deal with yourself, I may be amendable to taking on the task. I have yet to face a proper challenge since my arrival here.”

“Uh… I’ll keep it in mind…?”

“ ‘Desert King’ Sir Crocodile,” the other man continued without a hitch despite the King’s previous somewhat awkward reply. If the way he lowered his cigar away from his snout to speak properly was any indication, Crocodile seemed to be taking the matter of interacting with Lucifer seriously. A proper level of caution to show in the face of a being renown for his power. “I’m the one in charge of the operations and business side of the Cross Guild, though I doubt you have much interest in that from what I’ve heard of you. Just as a point of curiosity, was it your intention to regather the Seven Warlords? Or did you truly ask for the presence of seven former members purely by coincidence,” he gestured his hook towards not only the three of the Cross Guild, but also the flamingo, the Pirate Empress, Trafalgar, and finally Jinbei as he posed the question.

As though to drive the point home, Luffy sounded a short bout of laughter, “Haha! Lucifer doesn’t care about that kinda stuff!”

“Maybe he should? Isn’t he supposed to be the King around here?” after the brief side commentary, Buggy jumped up into prominence, limbs detaching from his torso to spin around in a flashy manner. The man had evidently regained his nerve and boldness, detaching even his head to float up level to Lucifer’s now slightly bewildered wide-eyed stare.

“Before you stands the ‘Genius Jester’, Buggy! Once one of the Seven Warlords before rising into power as one of the Four Emperors of the Sea! I’m the man with the plan! The circus act of the century! The adored leader of the Cross Guild members, many of whom I –almost– single-handedly broke out of the most secure level of the previously inescapable prison that is Impel Down! Along with being on the crew of the previous Pirate King. HA! My fame knows no bounds! You were right to call upon such a– ”

“ –Annoying pest,” that was the only warning Buggy had before Crocodile’s sandy tail grew out to curve around and smack the back of his disembodied head. It went flying to the side like a rogue soccer ball, albeit with much more high-pitched shrieking involved. Crocodile then said, quite seriously, “Don’t ask that guy for anything. He’ll lie and say he can do it, and then beg on his hands and knees for us to clean up his mess for him. The only things he’s good at are playing pretend and being a clown.”

“That’s so mean! The truth can really hurt, ya know?!”

The bug was ignored, predictably. Squinting a look over the three Cross Guild pirates and flashing a glance back towards the flamingo as well, Lucifer finally caught up with the situation enough to hesitantly question, “Wait a second… Are you all saying you’d be okay working for me?”

“Not for you,” was Crocodile’s the instant clarification, “But we were all Warlords for a reason. We know how to work with those in charge when it suits our purposes.”

“ …Really? That was not the impression I got from pirates in general before this.”

Jinbei spoke up at that, considerate enough to help further explain, “It’s like Law mentioned previously– When you’ve had to intervene with the pirates who ended up in Hell, it would be because they’re a powerful soul causing problems, correct? But many pirates, even ones strong enough to gain the notice of the World Government and be offered a Warlord position, either don’t have the raw power necessary to afford just purely doing things their own way without regard for those who would contest them or don’t want the trouble that comes with it. In comparison… Luffy is exactly the sort of pirate who does exactly that.”

“Yeah!” the captain cheerfully agreed while sticking his chest out, before adding fuel to the fire, “Ya don’t gotta worry about any ‘a these guys, Lucy! They’re all weaker than me!”

“Tch.” There were resounding tsks of discontent from the four newly introduced Warlords, Doflamingo especially as he turned his beak away with scowl. But it spoke volumes that none of them could voice their obvious disagreement.

Instead, Crocodile continued his explanation, “Additionally, it’s not as though we are guaranteed to agree to everything you may ask of us. If you’ve spoken to the Pirate Empress for more than five minutes, I’m sure you’ve realized that Hanco*ck will likely agree to nothing you ask of her– ”

“I work for no man! …Other than Luffy, of course <3”

“ –So on a case by case basis, there may be times when our intentions are aligned or there are no consequences against our own interests, but for the times when your interests are in conflict with our own, don’t expect our cooperation.”

After a moment of consideration, Lucifer commented with a carefully plain tone, “ …If this is just how you pirate Warlords tend to function, then why is it so different compared to the other three here? No offense, but you Cross Guild and that flamingo there give a real shady vibe compared to them.”

“Is it not obvious?” Mihawk cut in to give his own response. His gaze slid over towards Luffy before redirecting back on the King to say, matter of fact, “The First Son of the Sea, Surgeon of Death, and Pirate Empress are no longer independent Warlords as they once were. They are all firmly in Straw Hat’s faction. They will not offer any agreements outside of what Straw Hat himself would offer you. The Pirate Empress only to the extent of what she requires to establish her new kingdom.”

“I still work for my own interests also!” at Trafalgar’s insistence, those trademark Hawk Eyes just sent an unimpressed glance. No words were needed for Mihawk to make clear how much doubt he held for the man’s denial. Considering how it was only just prior to the other Warlords’ arrival that Trafalgar had explicitly described himself and Boa as being part of Luffy’s faction, the King himself also looked at the guy with an incredulous raise of the eyebrows.

“Also, just to make it clear, you really shouldn’t be trusting these guys. Especially that guy!” Law pointed at Doflamingo’s sneering face as he said this. “If he thinks he can get away with stabbing you in the back, he’ll do it the first chance he gets! As it is, he’s just biding his time until he can get back at me and Straw Hat-ya.”

To that, Doflamingo scoffed back, “Oh come on, Laaaw, aren’t ya bein’ a bit biased with your advice right now? Just cause Straw Hat’s makin’ nice with local royalty once again that doesn’t make you such a trustworthy guy.”

“That’s a joke coming from the guy who literally– ”

As interesting of a conversation as they’d been having, it was inevitable that the rest of the invited sinners would at some point arrive as the actual time of the meeting drew closer. Trafalgar cut himself off when the doors opened again. This time Carmilla and Zestial entered the room together, eyeing the new meat before approaching to become acquainted. Rosie as well as other various Overlords entered in one after the other.

Until, just a minute prior to the official start time, the Vees actually deigned to show their faces. Queen Lilith and Charlie flanked the three of them, Lilith as gracefully unaffected as usual while Charlie couldn’t withhold her cautious glances, having escorted the possible troublemakers and left their position greeting guests in the lobby now that all the arrivals were present. The three has-beens entered with their heads held high, evidently out to prove they still had a place at the table despite the fact that the last Overlord meeting that’d been held, they’d only bothered to send one representative amongst themselves.

It’s the first time since Alastor’s extended absence that him and Vox were meeting face to face, excluding the brief flash of a moment when Alastor had whisked Luffy, Husk, and Angel away from the Vees after Valentino’s defeat. His large, pixelated eyes immediately focused in on Alastor, as they often tended to. His expression was simmering and disgruntled. Then, those eyes slid over to Luffy standing directly next to Alastor, and immediately the intensity of the glare skyrocketed.

It was to the point that Vox’s scowl was more of a baring of serrated teeth, electricity sparking off his body and head as his shaking fists clenched tight. He forcefully averted his glare to make his way to the long table that’d been set up, apparently determined to ignore the captain’s presence for the time being even as he was enraged by just the sight of him.

Alastor was a tad taken aback by the reaction, turning it over in his mind as he took the seat to the right of Luffy while Jinbei took the left. Truthfully… he’d never seen that poor excuse of a colored-picture box head show a stronger emotional reaction towards anyone other than himself. Since their falling out, Vox always showed the most anger towards the Radio Demon above all others, and before that, Vox would get quite emotive concerning Alastor in other ways.

While this development wasn’t completely without logic, the boy did directly tear the Overlord’s media empire in half essentially by destroying all his Contracts, Alastor still hadn’t expected it. And as an additional detail to consider, while Vox did slide in a pensive stare towards the Pirate Empress –who was currently seated at Alastor’s other side, glaring down at him for being unable to complain about him sitting next to his captain rather than herself– it was nowhere near how he regarded Luffy despite the woman being just as instrumental if not even more so to the Vees’ current plight. Overall, the sense he got from the situation at hand was… precarious, to say the least.

While he was typically amused by Vox’s overcompensation, lack of self-control, and downright huffy anger in regards to himself, when seeing it aimed at his captain to such a concentrated degree… he rather found it lacking it’s usual humor.

Standing at the head of the table was the Morningstar family. However, rather than the King or even the Queen being the center point, Charlie was the one to take position as head of the discussion, her expression only somewhat pinched with nerves rather than the nervous mess Alastor would’ve expected of her not too long ago. With both Lucifer and Lilith giving their daughter an encouraging smile from either side of her and Vaggie standing at the side of the room to give her own reassuring smile, the Princess took a deep breath, before starting, “Alrighty! So– Thank you all for coming today. I know a lot of you guys are probably busy with your– Overlord stuff, I guess? But this is a really important meeting! Because today, we are going to discuss how we should prepare for Heaven’s next Extermination.”

“Actually, before we fully start off the meeting– we had a question that would be good to answer while we’re all gathered,” Carmilla seamlessly interjected, gesturing to both herself and Zestial in reference to their inquiry, “King Lucifer, what was the purpose behind your creation of the Red Sea? You’ve gone thousands of years without changing Hell’s environment in such a way. Alastor has said on his broadcasts about the matter that Straw Hat made an agreement with you about it, but surely there must have been an important reason for such a tremendous change that he left out.”

After a brief hesitation born from not having expected the question –which he really SHOULD have expected, considering it was a logical one for the Overlords to pose– Lucifer also hesitantly answered, “ …I owed Luffy a favor, and that was what he asked for. That’s all.”

“ …That’s it? For such an extraordinary alternation in Hell?!” there were mutters of echoing agreement with Carmilla’s shock. And in contrast, there was also a muttering of ‘Figures…’ from a certain, huffy looking clown further down the table.

“The favor I owed him was a big one, so… yeah,” Lucifer thankfully had the wherewithal to put a prompt stop to the questioning at that point, “No more asking about that, though! It’s not important– ”

“I’m not quite sure it’s NOT important– ”

“ –We’re here to talk about the Extermination!”

One of the other Overlords, Zeezi, rose a hand and spoke up not in any sort of objection but more out of a need for explicit clarification, “Has it been confirmed that there’ll be an Extermination? I mean, I know they weren’t happy with how the last one turned out, but they haven’t made an announcement of renewing the date and now know the sinners can fight back if they try another one.”

Lilith took over the response, likely for the sake of brevity, “They haven’t stated there will be, but given what we know of how poorly the higher angels are likely to take the death of the First Man, the chance of an invasion is high. This Extermination would not be like the others, with a set time or time limit, but rather a military operation to directly suppress the population. Their aim would be to dissuade the sinners of any belief that they can successfully go against Heaven’s ordainment.”

Having apparently moved on from their previous line of questioning, Carmilla and Zestial nodded in sage agreement with the Queen’s assessment. Charlie nodded as well, a determined expression coming over her as she pushed onward, “That’s right. This Extermination won’t be the same as how they were before. They might even completely destroy the city before they decide we’ve been ‘put in our place’! That’s why we wanted to work with all of you, who not only have territory throughout the city but also have many sinners that work for you under your protection, so that we can prepare a strategy to defend all of Pentagram City if need be! That’s why I also need to ask this specifically…”

Setting her firm stare on the end of the table with the three Vees, all of whom were exuding an air of ill-content with narrowed gazes, Charlie questioned seriously, “Vees… I realize that there’s been a bit… a lot of conflict, actually, between you guys and the hotel– ”

“That is the f*cking understatement of the century, darling Princesa~ ” Valentino was the one to hiss out from between his teeth.

“ –but you live in this city just like everyone else. All of your businesses are tied to the sinners here, too. You should be just as invested in trying to withstand this Extermination as the rest of us. Therefore, as the Princess of Hell, I ask that you commit to a ceasefire until the time of the Extermination has been concluded.”

Someone, likely Lilith, had clearly coached the girl on how to address the sticky situation that was the Vees as well as what to say. And they’d done a good job of it. There was no hesitation in Charlie’s use of her authority unlike prior instances of her attempts to do so.

“A ceasefire?” Velvette reiterated with a sassy raise of her eyebrow that matched her tone, crossing her arms as she leaned into the side of her seat. “In both cases where we’ve been ‘in conflict’ with those damn pirates, like your political ass put it, they were the ones who attacked our turf! You’re sayin’ we can’t even defend ourselves?! Why don’t you ask THEM to not f*ck around, huh?!”

It was admittedly a valid point. The Vees truly had not been the aggressors in two out of three the times. Though the third instance of conflict where they called a hit did not feature their direct involvement, they were still clearly responsible.

While she wavered for a brief second, Charlie regained her ground to give an interesting reply, to say the least, “I know Luffy won’t pick a fight with you guys if I ask him to. I don’t trust the same from you, since you have every reason to try and take this as an opportunity to retaliate. So that’s why I’m warning you now– Don’t. The Morningstar family doesn’t have time to deal with Overlords picking fights with each other right now when we need everyone’s cooperation, and we won’t hesitate to get involved personally if need be.”

VERY coached, indeed. If he’d still been on speaking terms with Lilith, he’d have her congratulated her for her successful teachings. Still, while Velvette herself was visually taken aback by the response, there was a hum of doubt from a different segment of the table. Gesturing his hook towards Luffy’s direction, Crocodile questioned, “Will Straw Hat really do as you ask of him? Speaking as an outsider that has more experience with that guy, I’d think it’d be him you should worry about for that kind of thing…”

“You can say that again! HA!” Doflamingo agreed with a barking jeer of a laugh, much to Crocodile’s displeasure if the scowl that set in was any indication.

Charlie tensed in her stance, thrown off from her script for the first time in the conversation. But thankfully, Luffy stuck his head into things to carelessly say, “Charlie’s my friend, so if she really needs me to do somethin’ for her, course I will!”

“ …Tch. What is it with you and Princesses?” Crocodile complained under his breath, but leaned back in his seat to look away, otherwise convinced by the answer. Doflamingo also looked put off by the response, the grin of his beak shifting into a sneer. Apparently, Luffy befriending the regional princess was very familiar behavior to the both of them.

With Luffy’s unwavering support, Charlie built herself back up, posture righting once more and her stare landing back on the Vees. There was no discussion amongst them or even passing glances, but after an extended moment, the still scowling Vox was the one to lean forward and slowly reply, “ …Fine. Until the next Extermination has officially ended, the Vees will comply with your ceasefire. But since we have the floor, I might as well say now…” Vox’s mouth twitched into a mock of his showboat grin as he jeered, “The only part of the city we’ll have any part in defending is our tower, and I guess the street it’s standing on by default. And frankly speaking, I think our defenses are in pretty good shape even considering the circ*mstances. So unless Heaven brings out some damn big guns, don’t expect us to come out and do any actual fighting, yeah? You lot are on your f*cking own as far as we’re concerned!”

Even as she frowned, Charlie agreed, “I won’t expect that of you, yes. Even for the rest of the Overlords, most of what I’m asking is for you guys to protect the parts of the city under your lead, along with adjacent areas that aren’t specific territory to anyone. My family will be protecting our territory as well.”

“Woah woah woah– Hold up a sec! Doesn’t anyone else see somethin’ wrong with this picture?!”

As two dismembered hands slammed onto the table, Buggy’s upper body detached from the lower to float above the center of the table. While glaring at the thoroughly startled Charlie, he jabbed a point finger at Luffy with one of his remaining hands to start his accusation, “This guy considers your territory, or your hotel at least, his territory, doesn’t he? That means you guys are consolidating the folks that could put up the strongest fight against an angelic army, King Lucifer, Queen Lilith, and Straw Hat who is a damn GOD now because the universe is that unfair I guess! Where the f*ck does that leave the little guys, huh?! Isn’t this meeting just the same as tellin’ us you f*cks are on your own and washing your hands of the rest?! Don’t think you can fool me with that sweet fair princess act of yours!”

The words gained the attention of every Overlord at the table as well as that of the royal family. Wide-eyed with shock, Charlie stumbled through her attempt at recovery, “That’s not– No! That’s not what we’re trying to do here– ”

“Then what are ya doin’? Cause if that’s the big plan you’ve been hyping up this whole time, you better expect a lot of us extras to be dead at the end of the fight!” rather than continue to make his point with Charlie, the Genius Jester floated over to plant himself before none other than Luffy, glaring down with a twitching eye at the blank faced boy, “It’s just like what happened before! Straw Hat here picked a fight with the entire f*cking World Government, and every pirate that wasn’t part of his damn fleet still caught heat for it! And who were the ones who survived the damn war they started? Of course it was him and his men! But what about MY guys, huh?! Ya ever even spared us a second of a thought of how your actions would affect everyone else, Straw Hat?! We weren’t even part of that fight and most of my crew f*cking DIED! And ya have the nerve to side with the Princess who’s doin’ the same bullsh*t?! I ain’t takin’ it lyin’ down this time! Even a clown has his pride, dammit!”

Upon first seeing the literal clown co*ckroach, Alastor had had his doubts about this pirate being the one to actually hold authority over the men of the Cross Guild, especially considering the poor contrast he made to the two other Warlords part of their faction. He seemed like a joke at best. But as the clown spoke, Alastor could begin to see how it was Buggy could manage such a position. As weak and cowardly as he seemed, there was an undeniable sense of charisma to his words when he put the effort into it. It was even enough that his current accusation had a real chance of bringing the meeting to ruins. The room was as silent as the dead with the various Overlords at the table thinking over the clown’s assertions. Charlie’s face fell even further when she realized the impending crisis. From Luffy’s other side close to the verbal conflict at hand, even Jinbei watched the proceedings with an uncertain, uneasy frown.

But as for Luffy himself… in the face of what could be considered genuine, biting criticism, the captain merely blinked at Buggy in surprise. Before a smile lit up his face. “Woah– You’re a really good captain now, Buggy! That’s good of ya! It’s no wonder your crew stuck by you. They all fought hard with you, didn’t they?”

And just like that, the proverbial wind was swept out of the pirate’s sails. Buggy’s face fell slack in shock as his rage fell away with it. Because for all the clown’s apparent charisma, Alastor’s captain held a charisma that was at the level of the divine itself, likely even more so. The Radio Demon’s grin stretched out wider at the sight of the turnabout play.

Deciding this to be a prime opportunity to insert himself, Alastor leaned forward with his elbows on the table, resting his face upon his laced fingers as he addressed the clown in a feigned innocent manner, “Pardon me, Mister Jester, but as I’m new to this whole pirating thing, I am a tad confused as to your plight– It had been my assumption that pirates not in alliance held no due diligence towards one another. And that, by what I’ve seen, your faction was not aligned with my captain’s. Considering this, what was it that he did wrong, exactly?”

“H-Huh? You– ” Buggy stuttered as his free-floating torso turned to glance his way. He granted Alastor a hesitant, cautious expression.

“The answer is that Luffy didn’t do anything wrong. At least when it comes to a pirate’s perspective,” Hanco*ck was the one to reply instead, tone cold and unsympathetic of the clown’s pleas, a stone-faced Empress indeed, “The Straw Hats and their Fleet had no business with the Cross Guild. In fact, they were enemies also in contest for Roger’s treasure. Luffy held no responsibility towards them. The natural conclusion of a pirate crew not strong enough to defend themselves is defeat, that is the way of things… To cast blame onto those who stood victorious for your own weakness is unsightly behavior!”

Buggy jolted back at the returning critique, though he’d recovered from his shock even to narrow his eyes on the woman and mutter, “You’re one to talk… Of course the Pirate Empress who can turn battleships of men to stone would see it that way!”

“Hanco*ck’s own strength doesn’t change that what she said was right, Jester,” somewhat surprisingly, Trafalgar was the one to speak up then, back against his seat with his long sword leaning against one side, “There is no fair play when it comes to pirates. We’re all enemies until we strike the deal to be allied. You’ve been one long enough that you should know that by now. Not only that, but you can’t claim to have been innocent bystanders to the war when you were also after the treasure. You chose to involve yourselves in the fight when you decided on that path. Trying to argue about now is just a power play. The sinners of the other world may not be able to tell, but everyone in this room of our world was also a pirate and knows damn well what you’re pulling.”

The world of pirates was apparently a cutthroat reality. Just the way Alastor preferred it. There was not a single ounce of remorse to be seen between Boa and Trafalgar, and the fact that Trafalgar himself had also been killed in battle in a similar manner just made the rejection more cutting. Doflamingo was outright snickering in his corner of the table. While more amendable to Buggy’s presence, Luffy himself also showed no regard in that matter for all his usual kindness. It confirmed Alastor’s previously perceived notion that the boy only truly fought for those he kept in good company, rather than any innocent masses at large. In comparison, Jinbei did grant the clown a more sympathetic look, but also remained silent. The fishman likely held a stronger sense of morality than every other pirate in the room, and even he could not deny the apparent truth of their world.

And then, in comparison to that… still at the head of the table, Charlie stood tall once more. Her expression again filled with determination, but of the kinder sort that was more familiar to her face.

“Buggy…” when he turned her way, Charlie granted the bug a smile as she placed a hand on her chest and declared, “Maybe it’s true that Luffy didn’t owe you anything, but… what I was trying to say is that this isn’t the same. All of the sinners of Hell are my family’s people. My people. That’s true even for you and your crew. We’re asking you all to take part in this battle, yes, but it’s not so that we don’t have to take responsibility for you– it’s so that we can all help each other protect our home! I can’t promise that no one will be hurt, but we’ll do the best we can! If we all stay in contact with each other, we’ll be able to know what parts of the city need more help and where to send it. We’ll be so much stronger just by working together! Maybe you don’t believe in it, but… I really think we can do this! My friends and Rosie’s people proved last Extermination that we can fight back, and this time, we’ll all prove that it wasn’t a fluke! Together! If we win this fight, we have a chance to permanently end the Exterminations, and no one will have to die anymore. Isn’t that worth fighting for, for your own people at least?”

It was a charisma born not of proper teachings or a prepared plan, but of the girl’s own intrinsic belief. Disgustingly heartfelt, in Alastor’s opinion, but effective nonetheless.

Especially to those prone to sappiness. And it seemed as though this clown was one of those people since, after taking a big, bug-eyed moment to process the words, Buggy’s tone immediately turned simpering as his upper body dashed forward to take Charlie’s hands, “For real? You’ll protect me– I mean, US? Oh Princess, I really got you all wrong! What a nice girl you are! The royalty back in our world were only out for themselves, they never gave a sh*t about any of the normal folk! But you don’t see it that way at all! This is the way it ought’a be I’m tellin’ ya– ”

“This guy keeps finding new ways to make me embarrassed to even be associated with him. The fact that the marines actually thought we worked for him is a shame I’ll never recover from, even in death…” as Crocodile leaned down to press his fingers against his pinched forehead with a sigh, Mihawk nodded in silent, scowling agreement.

As Buggy continued to ramble like a sycophant, Alastor noted that while the majority of those present were watching the scene play out to mixed reactions, he felt the distinct sensation of a pair of eyes on himself. He gave a shifty side-eye over towards Vox, who predictably moved to turn his flat face away in an obvious attempt to pretend as though he hadn’t been staring. Alastor had to withhold a sigh as he redirected his focus back on the clown act only to feel Vox’s stare on his person again. Even with the supposed “ceasefire”, he very much doubted the evening would conclude without Vox making some sort of move.

The meeting continued from that point in a mostly predictable manner. Everyone was to make their own preparations. Carmilla would assist with procuring weapons of Heavenly steel, though not without compensation provided by the royal family considering the loss she would be taking to give out that many arms to this many sinners pro-bono. And there was also an issue as to the limitations of her stocks seeing that there were considerably more sinners that required arms. It was likely not everyone would be provided with a Heavenly weapon this time around. There also was not much of a concrete plan to be had outside of organizational efforts. It mainly seemed to boil down to try not to die, which based on Luffy’s approving grin, he was interpreting as just beat the sh*t out of them. Admittedly, this was literally the only type of plan that would survive contact with the captain’s involvement, if Jinbei’s sigh of relief and Trafalgar’s grumbling under his breath about the various plans he’s attempted with the man in the past was anything to go by. So Alastor himself could hardly complain about it.

Once the meeting was adjourned, however, the thing that Alastor had been waiting for with very little anticipation finally occurred. Vox couldn’t even wait until less than half the people at the table stood up before he shot up out of his seat to say, “Alastor! Now that business is over, I’d like to have a word. In private.”

Alastor’s smile was as pristine as always as he much more gracefully stood from his own seat and looked back at the other. Vox wasn’t even trying to pretend to smile, outright glaring in his demand. “You are not making for a very appealing conversation partner at the moment, so I don’t see why I should bother…”

At that, Vox’s screen gained a mean smirk. He spread his arms out to the now bystander fellow meeting attendees to say, “Well you see, I’ve got some theories as to what you’ve been up to those seven years you were gone. So if you don’t mind everyone in Hell hearing about it, then by all means, I can shout at you from across the table about it just fine!”

Something twisted inside his gut at the mention. But before Alastor could fret much over what exactly Vox thought he knew, Velvette dropped her face into her hand with a groan, “f*ckin’ Hell– You’re seriously about to admit to that crazy-ass conspiracy theory of yours? As though it wasn’t embarassin’ enough to be involuntarily subjected to it in private?!”

In comparison, Valentino stood with buzzing anticipation, chiming, “Oh, he’s serious alright. And I’m not missing this conversation for the f*ckin’ world! This will be the funniest sh*t ever– I didn’t even bring popcorn cause I’d probably just choke on it and literally die laughing!”

“f*ck you too!” Vox finally looked away from Alastor to glare back at his fellow Vees, “And by the way, why the f*ck were you both checking out Hanco*ck?! Don’t think I didn’t notice! Did you f*cking forget how she turned us to STONE?!?! Like two weeks ago?!”

“Well nooo, but when I started glaring at her, I just got distracted is all! Really Voxy, what’s really weird here is that you weren’t checking her out. Some people are just too beautiful to hold a real grudge against.”

“Pretty privilege is f*ckin’ alive ‘n’ well, and I will not apologize for that,” Velvette agreed with a sage nod and deadpan look that did not at all match the content of her statement.

“Disgusting wretches. If not for the ceasefire, you would already be stone once more…” the Medusa in question spoke mainly to herself, standing up and glancing over the two Vees, especially Valentino, with the clear air of someone looking down on another. Though when her gaze trailed over to Vox, it gained a more contemplative look. Which– no. It is absolutely NOT a good thing if Boa Hanco*ck the eternal man-hater is somehow finding common ground with the picture box. So he is going to do the sane thing and pretend he never noticed that…

Alastor began walking around the table towards the door to the discrete side room the reception area featured as he drawled, “Considering the likelihood of your so-called theory being hilariously wrong, I think I’ll spare the masses from their secondhand embarrassment and speak to you without the peanut gallery, yes.”

“You’re coming too, Monkey?”

The name was spoken with such utter distain, Alastor had to take a second to realize that Vox wasn’t speaking to him. He glanced back at where Luffy was following behind him, having only vaguely noticed the boy’s presence prior, before looking at Vox as he stepped forward with a piercing glare set fully on the captain.

Rather than his usual careless attitude, Luffy actually gave Vox a somewhat serious stare as he insisted, “Alastor’s my crew. If you wanna talk to him, you gotta talk to me, too.”

Alastor had to keep himself from glancing at the boy in shock at the assertion. Luffy was certainly protective, and clingy, but at least thus far, he did not hover. He did not insist on inserting himself into each and every interaction his crewmembers had with outside persons even in the case where there was a chance of them being malevolent. The fact that he felt the need to do so with Vox was not at all a promising sign.

“Holy sh*t. I think this is gonna be good… What?” Alastor valiantly ignored Lucifer’s commentary, as well as the follow up question he sounded in return to his wife’s judging glance.

Electricity zapped between Vox’s antennae as his expression screwed up into a tighter, glitching anger. Before he sneered out, “Fine. Ya know what? It might actually be good to have you around for this talk, so fine.” And with that said, Vox strut past the both of them to walk into the side room first.

But before Alastor himself followed, after waving away both Jinbei’s as well as Rosie’s inquiring looks as to whether they should join in our not, he allowed Luffy to walk past himself so that he could pluck the stray ear out of the boy’s hat. Squinting his eyes at the disembodied thing, he licked at his lips before flashing his serrated grin. “What’s this? A little snack to get me by until supper perhaps– ”

“I’m so sorry I won’t do it again please don’t eat me!!!” with pleas uttered so fast they bled into one another, the ear went flying out of his fingers to return to its owner. Alastor sent the tearful Buggy a grin of warning, before he finally turned his back and entered the room as well. Seeing that Valentino had already made his way in, he closed the door behind him none-too gently.

The side room was just about the right size for four people, featuring a small square table with a couple chairs on either side in the center of the room within view of the single window on the wall. None of them bothered taking a seat, though. Valentino, after flashing a glare at Luffy, moved to lean against the wall close to the door while crossing his arms, clearly just planning to act as a fly or moth on the wall so to speak. Vox meanwhile was standing by one side of the table, glaring daggers at Luffy, and while he wasn’t quite glaring back, the captain returned the look with a heavy stare.

Luffy glanced back at Alastor when he walked forward, however, to step to the side and make room for Alastor to stand directly before the media Overlord. Alastor kept his arms folded behind his back along with his cane in hand, and when Vox finally averted his attention from Luffy, he was met with a somewhat conflicted expression, rather than pure rage. Something pained, but deeply, deeply bitter.

In contrast, Alastor kept his tone casually nonchalant, uncaring as he teased, “Where’s that flimsy showman smile of yours, old pal? You know very well you’re never fully dressed without it! Aha! You were so eager to have this little chat, I’d think you’d be happier about getting your way– ”

“Alastor…” the man cut him off –how rude– with a scowl that only grew heavier, as though if he didn’t force himself to start, he never would, “Seven years you were gone. Leaving our fight unfinished without a word of explanation since. And, really, you should’ve stayed f*cking gone! I would’ve been better off if you never showed that ugly mug of yours around Hell ever again– ”

“Well I’d say that’s accurate, yes. After all, look at the state of you Vees now! Ahahaha~ ” Alastor reinserted himself again just to make a point, “But you’re giving me too much credit, I hardly had any hand in your humiliation. It was the captain and– ”

“You’re serious,” Vox interrupted once more, a ting of television static in the back of his voice as his scowl fell into a full glare, “You seriously– joined this damn pirate crew of all things?! You seriously respect that MONKEY’S authority?!?!”

He shot a hand out to point in accusation at the Monkey in question, Luffy just watching the gesture without response. Before Vox’s hand shifted to point forward at Alastor instead, almost close enough to press the sharpened tip of his claw into the center of Alastor’s chest. “That doesn’t suit you AT ALL!!! It would’ve made way more sense if you’d agreed to join me way back all those years ago! Hell, I wasn’t even asking you to work under me! I just wanted an equal partnership! Why the HELL would you suddenly change your damn mind about being an unchanging retro-ass loner for THIS f*cking guy and NOT ME?!?!”

His grin pulling sharper in displeasure, Alastor brought forward the hand not holding his cane to take hold of Vox’s finger between his index finger and thumb. He then twitched his fingers with a snap.

Vox cursed out from the pain while rushing to withdraw his hand and its now broken finger.

“While I usually refrain from speaking this frankly, I am going to do so now just to ensure that tangled mess of wires inside the box that you call a head understands exactly what it is I’m saying– You know perfectly well why I refused your previous offer. None of that reasoning has changed over these years. As for my current allegiance, I owe you no explanation for any action or decision of mine, but I will tell you that Monkey D. Luffy is a much worthier man than you by far. The fact that he essentially enacted divine judgement upon you and your own should be enough testament to this. Honestly old pal, the mere fact that you would question why it is I respect the authority of a literal God suggests you are quite deep in denial as to your own importance, or rather lack thereof.”

After straightening out his misshapen finger with a wince, Vox glanced back up at Alastor with that conflicted expression once again painted across his pixelated face. He spoke again after almost a full minute of silence, rage bleeding out of his tone and into more distilled bitterness, “The Alastor I knew before… would never have respected any God’s authority. He would’ve rather died than pray to be saved by one.”

“ …I suppose that’s true, but no God as ever given me a reason to heed their authority, before. And my captain is not the type of God one need pray to. If you’re on his crew, that is. He is much more than just my God. But it’d be pointless trying to explain any of that to you, since you clearly aren’t in the mood to listen.”

Vox’s eye spiraled with venom at Alastor’s addresses of “my captain” and “my God”. Alastor forced himself to look straight on into it, knowing that it was more of an emotional reaction than an attempt at mind control. And that particular ability of Vox’s couldn’t usually affect him regardless.

After a split moment, Vox seemed to catch himself, flinching back as he averted his conflicted gaze and his left eye returned to normal. Sticking his hand almost violently into his pocket to rummage around in it, Vox growled through his response, “That so? Well, ya know what, you suddenly not minding being a damn pet for this guy has got me thinking that I may actually be onto something– about why you were gone for those seven years!”

Finding what he was in search for, Vox pulled out small square photograph. Though Alastor couldn’t quite tell what was printed on it yet.

“You needed to leave, because you were vulnerable, weren’t you? Couldn’t let anyone clue into the obvious weakness that you had no way of hiding!”

While Alastor kept the tension off his face, he felt himself internally brace at Vox’s lead up. For a moment, he wondered if perhaps Vox truly had figured out something concerning the situation, whether it be his deal with Lilith or his ownership under Eve or just the fact that he’d had a Soul Contract at all. The reference of him being Luffy’s “pet” would correlate with that. Whatever would come out of that over-sized mouth next, he braced himself to react accordingly.

“That’s right– because the strong, oh-so powerful, fearsome Radio Demon could never let it be known there was now a perfect target his enemies could strike at and take advantage of! You couldn’t let it be known– ” Vox slammed the picture down on the table in front of Alastor.

“ –that you had a kid!”

The picture was a slightly distorted image of Alastor holding Chopper’s hand.

Alastor stared down at the thing. He blinked once. Then twice.

Before he could even finish comprehending what the f*ck was going on, Vox dramatically pointed once again at Luffy, who’d approached to slightly lean in and also look at the photo, and Vox somehow managed to find a way to make an already horrendous scene exponentially worse–

“And that guy’s the FATHER, isn’t he?!?!”

“The what.”

“Oh my God, he said it– He actually said it– ! Straight to the Radio Demon’s face– ! I– I can’t– pffFFFF– ” over in the corner, Valentino began curling up against the wall dying of cackling laughter. Popcorn unneeded.

He wasn’t alone. Luffy immediately burst out in uproarious laughter, outright falling over onto the floor curled around his gut from how hard he was laughing. And from beyond the door, the damning sound of Lucifer’s muffled laughter could be heard. Evidently the King was listening in, as though he could never pass up the opportunity to bear witness to someone so horribly embarrassing Alastor to this degree.

Vox, somehow, remained unaffected by the majority of the room outright laughing at him, still glaring at Alastor as though he was seriously waiting for a response–

“Vox... You need to listen to me...” He grasped both of Vox’s shoulders with his hands, much to the other’s surprise, tightening their grip as he leaned forward to emphasize, “No– Don’t speak. If you have ever even once respected and valued the friendship that we used to share, you will listen to me. Because I promise you, I have never been more serious with you than I am being in this moment right now when I say… This is literally the stupidest thing you have ever said.”

The stupid picture-box’s surprise fell away into frustration as he attempted, “f*ck you! I’m being serious– ”

“And I’m being serious, Vox, when I say that I honestly don’t understand HOW you can be serious about this. I– I really don’t– ” Glancing back at the damn picture of a moment that he distinctly remembered had lasted a grand total of ten f*cking seconds, when Alastor redirected his stare back at Vox, he couldn’t help but lift one of his hands to drag down the side of his face in exasperated bewilderment. “You’ve got me stuttering! How many times in all the time we’ve known each other have you seen that? What you said is so stupid, I don’t even know where to f*cking start! Actually, here’s a good one– Sinners are physically incapable of having children! Explain to me your logic for ignoring this very well-known fact!”

“There’s a God involved,” was the very quick response, delivered in a fully serious tone with a serious expression to match, “The usual rules don’t apply, anything goes.”

“And the fact that we’re both MEN?!”

“Well it’s not like I know what you’ve got down there– ” upon the Radio Demon flashing out his more demonic features, Vox was at least smart enough to pivot, “Same reasoning. There’s a God involved. Anything goes.”

“You cannot just use his godhood as an excuse to ignore ALL SENSIBLE THINKING!”

Alastor finally had to throw both his hands in the air at the utterly ludicrous man. Snatching the picture from the table, he held the wretched thing in Vox’s face to point at. “The creature in this photograph is a reindeer who attained human sentience. As in a literal, f*cking, ANIMAL! Not a human! He was alive in their mortal world, for eighteen years mind you! And then he died! He was not born of some mythical womb within the confines of Hell! This is not a seven-year-old child! Let alone MY CHILD!!! Just because we both have deer-related forms does not imply biological relation!”

Vox’s stubborn face flickered, averting his gaze away in a show of doubt –f*cking finally– only for him to redirect back onto Alastor with a much more hesitant defense, “ …I mean, yeah. But it’s not JUST him being a deer. He’s PINK!”

“And that’s relevant HOW?”

“ …You’re red.” Vox gestured an open hand his way, before gesturing it towards the still laughing Luffy, who had only just recovered enough to pick himself up off the ground, “And that guy in his God form is white. Red and white mixed together… makes pink.”

“I can’t… I CAN’T– My insides– can’t take anymore of this– O-Oh! Oh my GOD– !!!” Valentino continued to die of freshly renewed laughter in his corner.

Alastor’s mouth was open for a good five seconds before he was able to respond, “ …When you switched out your head to that modernized slim version, were you forced to lobotomize your brain to the extent that it’s been reduced to the state of a five-year-old’s? Because THAT’S THE LEVEL YOUR BRAIN IS ON RIGHT NOW!!!”

Snatching the picture out of Alastor’s hand to stuff back in his pocket, Vox’s bulldozed forward with his pigheadedness, “Okay, well– Origin of the little young deer who suspiciously just ‘HAPPENS’ quote-unquote to suddenly be hanging around you after your extended absence that you treat like your kid aside– ”

“Holding his hand one singular time does not count as treating him like my child! There is nothing suspicious about this circ*mstance in the slightest! This is all a product of your delusional paranoia!”

“ –Hey, it wasn’t just the hand holding. You let him cling to you a lot too. I would know, I have the footage. But speaking of clinging, you and Monkey are definitely at least f*ckING!” Vox had the absolute audacity to accuse with a severe glower, hands on his hips and fully convinced of his own delusions, “Not only that! But you’re f*cking MARRIED, aren’t you?!”

Once again, Alastor could do nothing but stare in absolute disbelief at this catastrophic buffoonery, somehow managing to shout back, “ …NOOOOO???? Why in the name of f*cking Lucifer all-mighty would you even come to that conclusion?!?!”

“You have matching RINGS!!!” Vox whined with the EXACT SAME cadence that Boa Hanco*ck had, except at least the Pirate Empress had enough clarity of mind to understand it wasn’t a symbol of matrimony! It takes every ounce of internal willpower that Alastor has not to immediately grab the conveniently placed table beside them both and smash it over the top of that malfunctioning piece of sh*t Vox has officially lost the right to call a brain–

“Rings with the captain’s jolly roger, very much not WEDDING RINGS! By God, Vox! The skull and cross bones of a pirate’s flag are a distinctly well-known method for demonstrating pirating allegiance! Compare that to assuming I consented to the most god-awful gaudy design possible for my f*cking wedding ring– ”

“So you WOULD marry him if you had better rings!”

“NO!!!!! We are not getting married! And we are not f*cking! Absolutely nothing of that sort is going on between us! Our relationship is– ”

“So you ARE in a RELATIONSHIP– ”

“THE WORD REFERS TO PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS TOO!!! You MISERABLE CRETIN! There is a literal clown out in the main room right now, and you are somehow out-clowning him by a significant margin!”

“HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH ALASTOR?!” Vox skipped over Alastor’s denial to question Luffy directly.

This time, Alastor didn’t even bother restraining himself from summoning a tendril to outright slap the man across his TV-screen face for the atrocious insolence. Hard. His head spun around like it was on a hinge. But other than how he was forced to grab the sides to hold it in place, Vox failed to react otherwise, so caught up in his envy that he failed to give a sh*t about literally anything else at all.

After having recovered from his laughing fit, Luffy had simply been watching the scene play out before him, his face swishing back and forth between the two players reminiscent of a sports match. Momentarily caught off-guard at suddenly being addressed, Luffy examined Vox with a squinty-eyed look, which he then shifted towards Alastor, then back onto Vox.

Alastor knew Luffy well enough to realize that, rather than making the obvious connection that Vox’s question was in the context of his previous sexual accusations, the boy instantly jumped to the literal connotation. He evidently remembered that Alastor had threatened to never allow him into his quarters again if he told anyone about the time he’d been allowed into Alastor’s bed, and thus, bless this literal sunshine boy, he proceeded to lie in the most obvious way possible–

Eyes fully averted to the side and mouth stretched into the corner of his face, Luffy’s words trailed out in an overly extended manner, “UHHHH… Naaaaah~ Al’s never ever EEEEEEVER let me do thaaa– ”

“He’s talking about us having SEX you IMBECILE!!!”

“Oh. Then nah. Course not!” Luffy immediately corrected himself upon Alastor’s chastising, speaking naturally now that he could tell the truth. Alastor was so very close to slapping himself in the face in his ever-building exasperation.

Vox stared at Luffy for a good few seconds. Then, narrowing his eyes, he leaned forward towards the boy to slowly lay out, “So you haven’t had sex… But you’ve physically slept with him? …Like in his bed?”

“Naaaaah~ Al’s never ever EEEEEEVER let me do thaaaaat…” Alastor didn’t react this time around, as he already realized attempting to get a more convincing lie out of Luffy was a hopeless case. Instead, he just suffered in silence.

“ …That’s even WORSE!!!” crying out as though he’d been personally victimized, Vox pivoted back towards Alastor with a glare that was more pathetic than it was angry, his hand slapping into his own chest as he whined, “You trust this guy enough to let yourself be unconscious around him?! You never slept over at my place when we were friends! Or in the same bed!!!”

This absolute disaster masquerading himself as a man– While he was somewhat surprised Vox apparently prioritized the act of sleeping together over the act of sex, even still, all Alastor could do was let out a long sigh, “Once again, you are speaking at the same level of logic as a five-year-old. Considering how our ‘friendship’ ended up, I’d say it makes perfect sense I would find the captain more trustworthy than you. How does that not compute for you when you supposedly have a computational contraption inside that box of yours?!”

Vox flinched back as though Alastor had struck him. Except when Alastor had actually struck him, he’d given less of a reaction than now. For the briefest, fleeting glimpse of a hopeful moment, he thought that perhaps he might be getting through to the man.

Only for Vox to fall back into a contemplative pondering before, of course, coming out the other side of it with a horrid take, “Wait… If you’ve slept in the same bed… That must mean… you’ve cuddled, right?! Have you– holy sh*t– have you pet his ears?!?!”

Behind Vox’s back within Luffy’s view, Alastor’s shadow crawled up onto the wall to mime out an X with its arms, trying to signal the boy to give a negative response. Alastor didn’t even direct it to do this. It must truly be in a horrendous amount of pain from the secondhand embarrassment of this travesty. Luffy noticed the creature, and then gave it a seemingly understanding grin of agreement.

The boy then crossed his arms to form an X in the exact same manner, confident grin still fully in place. Vox squinted questioningly at the action while Alastor withheld his longest sigh yet, still suffering in silence. Confused, the stupid box asked, “What… What is that supposed to mean?”

“Don’t know,” the Monkey who may or may not be even stupider replied without a hitch, “But that’s my answer!”

Vox swerved to glance behind him, just catching sight of Alastor’s now face-palming shadow retreating from its place on the wall. He turned back around with wide-eyed, slack-jawed shock plain on his face, hand half raised to his mouth.

“He… really let you… pet his ears…? The… The devastatingly adorable pieces of fluff that for so many years I’ve despaired over having to restrain myself from the temptation of even touching with a single finger lest Alastor murders me and throws away my dismembered corpse in a dumpster on the streets– ?”

“You truly do NOT need to go into that level of detail– ”

“ –But WHY?!?!”

“Huh? You don’t know?” as though it was obvious, Luffy pointed a thumb into his own chest with a beaming grin to declare in full confidence, “I’m Alastor’s favorite person!”

The TV screen instantly flicked to a blue-screen tone dial, Vox’s body going slightly slack in his malfunctioning. His screen flickered to colored bars and static. Before he finally pulled himself together enough to form a face. One that stared with big eyes straight at Alastor, waiting for any sort of denial.

After a short instance of eye-contact, Alastor’s gaze slid away from Vox. There was tense silence for a long moment. Even Valentino had stopped laughing.

–While he’d hesitate to explicitly state Luffy’s assertion… his silence on the matter rang out loud and clear–

“ …That’s it. That– That is IT.”

Electric blue energy flashed out of Vox at random, thin and branching like condensed lightning. It zapped out of his head and his fang baring scowl and the shaking, clenched fist he held out in front of his chest.

With his head tilted too far to one side, Vox took a step towards Luffy as he hissed out choppy, piercing words from a voice filled with static interference, “Y-Y-You know what, St-Straw Hat? All that other sh*t you-u did– THAT was enough for me to h-h-hate you, but it’s also whatever, still. Breaking into the tower. Br-Breaking Angel’s Contract. Beating up Val-al. Your crew infiltrating our empire to backstab-ab us! Being turned to actual stone! Destroying A-ALL our S-S-Soul Contracts! All of that– means f*cking NOTHING to me– ”

“Ex-f*cking-cuse me bitch?” Valentino’s offended objection was completely ignored by Vox as well as everyone else in the room.

“ –NOTHING! Nothing at all… compared to you taking Al-Alastor like this! Taking the place in Alastor’s life that I-I have wanted– that I have dreamed of– for SEVENTY DAMN YEARS!!!”

Electricity burst across the entire room in a flash of blinding light. A pure emotional release rather than an intentional attack, but still hazardous nonetheless. With his mic out front, Alastor was just quick enough to form a shadowy shield around himself while the captain took the blast head on. Vox’s fellow Vee was similarly caught in the out-of-control attack, and promptly cried out an awful high-pitch shriek at being zapped like an actual insect.

The energy didn’t dissipate entirely, still overflowing out of Vox in jagged currents, but it did die down enough for the light to no longer be blinding. Allowing Alastor to see the way Vox spread out his arms and curled claws while his screen flickered into one large hypnotic spiral, red and black ever circling in and in on each other. Streamline black wires with pulsing blue energy coursing through them shot out from the back of Vox’s head like whips.

“I don’t care who you-u-u are! I don’t give a sh*t that you’re some pirate– some King– some GOD– I won’t accept that Al-Alastor is H-H-HAPPY with YOU!!! I WON’T ACCEPT THAT YOU CAN BE HAPPY W-WITHOUT ME-E-E, ALASTOR-R-R– ALASTOR– ALASTOR– I WON’T– I WON’T – I WON’T– ”

“I already told you that won’t work on me, Square-Face.”

With very little fanfare, Luffy’s enlarged hand took hold of all the cords at once to jerk Vox towards him. As Vox tipped forward head first, Luffy’s head drew back only to charge rush forward like a rushing bull. “Gum-Gum Bell!”

Vox’s screen shattered from the hit. His form fell back, red and black flickering on the pieces in an eye-searing glitch until they were rendered to static. Before he could fall to the ground, however, rubbery hands grasped the sides of that boxy head.

They swerved to the side to shoot Vox’s head along with the rest of the body attached right out the window, the glass shattering apart in a loud crash.

“It’ll be bad falling from this high up, so you should get him, Moth Man.”

“Oh that bitch does not f*cking deserve me saving his flat ass like this– ! Don’t think I’ve forgotten what I owe you, Monkey boy, this isn’t over!” even with his rightful complaining however, to his credit the now crispy looking Valentino still flew forward. Flying out of the window right behind Vox.

Dismissing his shield to peer out of the wreckage, Alastor saw he caught the other about half-way down the length of the hotel.

Not even bothering to wait and see if Vox had been rescued from his freefall, Luffy just turned back towards the door to head back into the main room, his posture and walk fully casual. After a moment of hesitation, Alastor followed him a couple steps behind.

They entered to see that everyone was beside the much larger ceiling to floor window, having apparently noticed Vox rocketing out as well as Valentino’s subsequent rescue. Everyone except for Velvette, that is, who remained seated with her head leaning into the palm of her hand and exasperation clear as the sight of Vox being thrown out the window on her face.

“…So what was that ya said ‘bout Straw Hat listening to you, Princess Morningstar? FUFUFUFU!!! What a joke that was!” with his head tilted precariously back and a wing slightly covering his beak, Doflamingo guffawed through his jeering cackle. Charlie could only wince in response to the call out.

Shockingly, the still thoroughly irate Velvette spoke up, “That doesn’t f*cking count. If that talk went anythin’ like the way I thought it would, then that bastard deserved to be thrown out the damn window! I would’a thrown him out myself if I’d been in the room! f*cking goddammit Vox! What was the point of us even agreein’ to come to this damn meeting if you’re just gonna pull this bullsh*t?!”

And with that, Velvette abruptly stood up from her chair, hands slamming down on the table, and promptly sulked out of the room without another word.

At the mention of the woman likely knowing how that downright awful conversation went, Alastor narrowed his eyes on another person who definitely knew how it’d gone. Seeing that he had to have been listening to have been driven to laughter loud enough to be heard through the walls. Upon the glare, Lucifer held both his hands up with a mouth quivering in its attempt to not form what would surely be a sh*t-eating grin. “In exchange for eavesdropping, I kept everyone else from eavesdropping too! And I didn’t say anything, because I knew you would try to kill me for real if I did! Really! And holy sh*t, that was– pff– I laughed more than I have in f*cking centuries, Al, I’m tellin’ ya– ”

“I do not want to hear you complain about me laughing in the face of your misery EVER AGAIN,” with that said, Alastor made his own way right out the door.

Thankfully the last of the Vees had already made herself scarce, though clearly Velvette was the only tolerable one among the bunch. Ignoring the little form of Niffty scurrying past him, welding a kitchen knife and laughing about killing the “clown roach” while the bug being persecuted shrieked in terror, Alastor stalked down the hall. He could have simply traversed his way back to his tower through the darkness, but instead he kept to walking, needing to release some of his pent-up, prickling tension. Following behind him were two sets of footsteps. The heavy strides of Jinbei paired with the light stroll of Luffy.

“Alastor, Luffy, what happened back there?”

“Square-Face was just sayin’ a bunch ‘a stuff that didn’t make sense,” Luffy responded before Alastor could. And thankfully so, considering he would have likely hissed something vile at the fishman, and the poor fellow hardly deserved to become a victim of Alastor’s astray ill-intent.

Feeling the claws of his clenched fists dig in sharply into his palms from where they were folded behind his back, his unseen sutures tugged harshly against his smile as Alastor scoffed sharply, “Quite. The only saving grace of that entire farce was Luffy throwing him out the building! With any luck, Vox will take that as a cue to realize he is hopelessly outmatched and will never show his face around our parts again!”

“He’ll come back,” Luffy stated this with so much certainty, Alastor unconscious halted in his steps. He glanced back at the boy to meet his unwavering stare. Also looking down at their captain, Jinbei heeded his words with full diligence.

“It doesn’t matter if he knows he’s weaker than me, he’ll be back. He was serious about you. You’re his dream.”

“ …What a horrendous nightmare of a ‘dream’. And it’s not really me, it’s what he covets from me.” Alastor about-faced to continue down the hallway, the two still following behind. Only for his footing to stumble once more when next Luffy spoke–

“ …Sorry. I can beat ‘em up as many times as we need to, but I won’t be able to change his mind about how to be friends with you. He has to do that by himself.”

After blinking down at the carpet for a split second, Alastor cracked his head around to raise an eyebrow at the boy and drawl, “I understand you are quite the innocent soul, dear captain, but what that malfunctioning picture-box wants is not to be ‘friends’ with me. What he actually wants is something he should know perfectly well I will never give him.”

Luffy just stared back at the look, plainly stating, “But he does. He just doesn’t know the right way to do it.”

Giving up the semantics of it, Alastor permitted himself a flash of an eyeroll while he posed, “Is his supposed quest to become my friend garnering sympathy from you…?”

“No way!” Alastor’s eyes widened just a tad at the stubborn pout that suddenly drew across Luffy’s face, taken aback by the change up. Pointing at himself with his thumb reminiscent of the way he’d done just a moment prior, Luffy declared, “I’m your captain, which means that I’m your favorite person! I won’t give up that title, and I won’t share it unless it’s with someone really important! I’m not a hero, I’m a pirate!”

While Alastor was still staring at the boy trying to decipher whatever the last part of that meant, Jinbei snorted to himself. His fangs pulled up into a slight but fond smile as he apparently jumped right aboard the line of thinking, “Following that analogy– A hero would share being Alastor’s favorite with others, but as a pirate, you want Alastor all to yourself? That’s especially selfish of you considering everyone on the crew has to share being your favorite!”

“That’s right! But it’s fine, cause we’re all Nakama, and I’m the captain!”

“ …I’m not quite sure that makes the insistence any less childish. Ha!” Closing his eyes with the shake of his head, Alastor turned his head around to begin walking again.

But just like that, the uncertain discord emanating from the void in his chest started to unravel. His grin eased up from its prior stiffness as Luffy’s words settled into that same place, steadying it with their reassuring weight. And once more, his ‘old pal’ fell back into being just a small thought in the back of his head. Fully ignored and left without regard… But not completely out of mind.